Am I the problem?

I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough, I want can’t sleep, can’t breath without your love

I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes

First of all I want you guys to know that I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve dated amazing guys, guys that any girl would be lucky to date, they were great. Of course some better than others but all of them have been great guys.

The only problem is I’ve never dated a guy for more than 3 “dates”, maybe it’s me or maybe I haven’t found THE guy but it sucks because I’m never sure if I want to keep going out with them and we just stop talking or stop seeing each other. I get nervous when I feel like we’re going somewhere you know? I really don’t know why but the feeling of dating makes me nervous because I’ve never shared that much of me with someone (apart from my friends), and imagining myself going out with someone, holding hands, kissing in public, introducing them to my friends, etc., the picture of it it’s great but when I start going out with someone and I try to picture myself with them… I just can’t. I’ve been telling myself that maybe I haven’t found the guy with who I want to do all that but now I think maybe I’m the problem, maybe I don’t give them a chance.

The reason for all of this is because I’m seeing this guy I met on Tinder, and before you say anything, yes I know Tinder it’s probably not the best place to meet someone but I downloaded the app for fun and I never thought I would actually meet someone from there. Aaanyways, this guy is really nice and yesterday was our 3rd “date” which I don’t consider an actual date because te 3 times we’ve seen each other we’re just talking in his car driving around the city, which is really cool I really enjoyed it and for the first “date” was great because I could get to know him better, we could talk easily,  but for the 2nd and 3rd time maybe I had my expectations that they were going to be different.

The thing is that now that we’ve had our 3rd “date” and since I already told him I haven’t date a guy for more than 3 dates, he wants me to let him know when it’s going to be our next one, and I understand why he wants me to do it but I don’t know if I want to do it. A part of me thinks that if I really wanted to keep seeing him I would tell him to see each other right away and I wouldn’t be thinking about it so much, but another part of me thinks that maybe I’m just scared of dating someone because I’ve never done it before and I should give him a chance.

I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! Am I the problem? H E L P!



3 thoughts on “Am I the problem?

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