It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your Happiness a priority. It’s necessary.
When you’re a kid, especially in Latino families, you’re thought that being a “good daughter/son” means you’re devoted to your parents, means that you’ll do what you’re told and that’s it. But, what’s the limit? Is it possible that sometimes it’s ok to be selfish with your own parents?
The situation is this, I’ve been a middle-class girl for most of my life, when me and my mom decided to move out of Venezuela the situation changed with time. At first everything was great but then my mom got married, my brother was born, the company she and my stepdad were working broke, etc. Since then we’ve been struggling with money, ups and downs all the time.
The reason why I decided/had to stay by myself was beyond my decision and own will. I’ve always wanted to live by myself and I knew I was going to do it soon but never thought it was going to be this way. When my parents moved to another country they had to do it as fast as possible, first my stepfather had to go and since my mom can’t live without him she left 15 days later. I couldn’t go with them since my passport is expired and getting a Venezuelan passport is a long process (F@#¿¡ng socialism), thanks to that I’ve been waiting for a while to get it; above all and more important, I didn’t want to. I was working here, I was studying here, my whole life was built here. Of course, that was a reason for my stepfather to say how selfish I was for not supporting our family through this difficult time and how immature I was. Now they’re living in another country, struggling with money and they need me to help them from here.
They haven’t asked me for money yet, but they’ve been asking me to do a certain kind (many of them) of errands that cost me money, MY money. I don’t make millions at my job, but I make enough for me and my expenses. On top of this, apparently someone that used to work with my stepfather got into an issue with a guy and know he owes him money, money that he said I was going to give him. This lender knows me and knows where I live, he even called me once while I was at work, so I’d give him his money.
Now my question is, am I being a bad daughter if I stop helping them? Is it wrong?
At first, I thought that if I told them I didn’t have the money to help them they were going to think that I couldn’t live by myself but now it’s not that I can’t it’s just that my money is not enough to helping them and helping me. I’ve been doing everything I can to help them, they don’t have to pay for me anymore, I even stopped studying so they wouldn’t have to pay for my University, isn’t that enough?
So please… H E L P